Dolphin Tragedy

Recently, you may have heard, in Cornwall 23 noble dolphins have died after beaching in the Percuil River. So I think a moment of silence in memoriam might be appropriate.

Lest We Forget

Image from Wikimedia Commons, formerly from NASA.

Towel Day

Its Towel Day

In which we celebrate Douglas Adams's time on earth

Visit the Towel Day website:



And keep your Towel with you at all times.

V-Day

Ladies and Gentlemen, The End Is Coming.... Eventually

Currently in the Megabrantis Cluster, the political hub of the galaxy, The Vogon bureaucracy is slowly working through their mountains of paperwork towards the order to destroy The Earth, in order to prevent it working out The Ultimate Question. Soon a Vogon Constructor Fleet will be racing towards Earth to demolish it inorder to create a new hyperspace bypass, to relieve traffic congestion. We are doomed unless we can escape earth quickly. Or so it would seem.

But don't worry. We on Earth have two safe gaurds aginst compleete anialialation. First when the earth is destroyed we will all be recreatd instantly along with the earth due to the nature of probability and the fact that earth resides in a plural zone. We, as Hitchhikertologists, will notice this but most other people won't, and we might enlighten them. Secondly when te earth is destroyed for the final time by the Grebulons (orchestrated by the vogons) all people on earth with a Babel fish in their ear will be transported to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe via the Babel fish's ability of continuous probability transfer, one more thing we have to thank them for.

So as you can see the faithful will be saved, but everyone else will be too dead to mind.

See you at Milliways.

So long as thanks for all the fish.


Ps. Sorry for the lack of updates but I'm incredibly lazy. If anyone wants to become a priest and add posts please say so.

Merry Douglas Adams's Birthday

On this day in 1952 Douglas Noël Adams was born to Janet & Christopher Adams in Cambridge, England.

Many years past until 1978 in which (with the help of the BBC) he broadcast his first Holy Message, The Primary Phase of The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.

He later went on to publish the holy texts and the remainder of the Phases of the holy radio play and also Last chance to see among others.

Anyway today is his birthday and since the Christians have Christmas, the Muslims have Mawlid al-Nabi and the Scientoligists have Tom Cruise's Birthday we of the Hitchhikertologist faith should also celebrate in some way.

So I'll see you at Milliways.

Till then So long and thanks for all the fish.

Image from www.douglasadams.com.

Ps this holiday should probably have a new name.

Day 42

It's Day 42!


The 42nd day of the year is the first Holy Day of the year celebrated by the Church of Hitchhikertology.

We believe that on the 42nd and 324/5th (42nd to last) days of the year the mind comes closest to understanding Life, The Universe and Everything. So on this day we celebrate by celebrating.

On this day Hitchhikertologists are encouraged not to drive to work, to keep a towel on their person (if they don't already), to encourage strags to join us or at least so read/listen to/watch some of the holy books/radio plays/film(s) and ultimately to enjoy the day.

Also the Church of Hitchhikertology would like to say merry Day 42 to the following groups and Individuals:

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Church of the Sub Genius

Anonymous

Douglas Adams (Where ever he may be)

The Dolphins

The Church of Scientology

And All Hitch Hikers currently residing on Earth


Happy Day 42!


So long and thanks for all the fish!

Practising Hitchhiker levels

In Hitchhikertology we have 5 levels.

These levels correspond to a hitch hikers ability at hitch hiking and general preparedness to get to where ones going.

They are as follows:

PHH1 (η1)
Basic hitch hiking skills. At level 1 a hitch hiker is in possession of at least 1 towel and 1 opposable thumb. At this level a hitch hiker should be able to confidently hitch hike throughout their own land cautiously throughout nearby continents.

PHH2 (η2)
At level 2 a hitch hiker should be able to hitch hike easily throughout their world and, with caution, nearby worlds.

PHH3 (η3)
At level 3 a hitch hiker should be able to get around the galaxy and convince any non hitch hiker to give them any items that they might accidentally have "lost".

PHH4 (η4)
At level 4 a hitch hiker should be able to hitch a ride to anywhere in time or space and should be ready to make their pilgrimage to Milliways, The Restaurant At The End Of The Universe.

PHH5 (η5)

At level 5 a hitch hiker should be able to get virtually anywhere, be able to mix a perfect Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster and have an innate knowledge of all towels in the vicinity. Furthermore by this level a hitch hiker should have forgotten how to panic.

Each of these levels can be achieved by a process of practising the abilities of the next level and by studying the sacred texts, radio plays and film.

Once a hitch hiker reaches level 5 they should consider writing for the Hitchhikers Guide To the Galaxy™ and should have lunch with Zaphod Beeblebrox.

All Hitchhikertologists are encouraged to reach level 5.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Knowing Where Your Towel Is

Always Know where your towel is.

All true Hitch hikers can at a moments notice produce at least one towel and many carry more than one.

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of towels.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value, you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you, daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might
accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

As you can see no hitch hiker alive today would be caught dead without their towel, (and many hitch hikers are buried, cremated, blowen up or otherwise disposed of holding their favourite towel).

"Knowing where your towel is" is the first of the all important Pillars of Hitch-hikertology.

A Guide entry on towels
More pedestrian uses for towels (for froods and non-froods alike)


So long and thanks for all the fish

In The Beginning

In the Beginning there was nothing. Then, 10 million years ago, at the request of a race of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings called "Mice", the planet building people of Magrathea constructed the greatest computer ever to exist "The Earth" for the sole purpose of finding the ultimate Question of Life The Universe And Everything. This Planet sized computer was then placed into the orbit of a small, unregarded yellow Sun in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the galaxy. This new planet was populated with many living creatures including dolphins and a creature that had been derived from the chimpanzee and didn't live in caves. The planet was filled with fossils, layers of rock and various chemical element to make it seem like it had existed for approximately 4.5 billion years.

The computers program continued for 8 million years until the rejected third of a race of people called Golgafrinchans (mostly telephone sanitizers and management consultants) crashed into the Earth with the intention of colonising it. These people wiped out the native ape descendants and assumed their position as future dominate creatures on earth thus ruining the program to find The Question. These people went on to become humans.
Like your self.
Unless your a hitchhiker stranded on earth.

And that is the origin of The Earth and Humanity

So long and thanks for all the fish